April 2004 – Page 2

Mom’s PC

Posted on April 10, 2004 by Shadowtwin — No Comments ↓

I got that marvel of technology that is my mother’s computer yesterday. It sucks just as bad now as it did like thirty years ago when they first released it. It is not that it is bad, or slow, on its own merits, it is just that it is a dinosaur by todays standards. It works quite properly but it has a problem with a modem being inserted into it. Not like a ‘non-compatible device’ type thing, but just an actual scream like ‘get that damn thing away from me!’ I had never had a problem like that before on any system. I did what I knew was necessary and went online to get the correct modem drivers, they installed just fine. In fact, it connected to the internet just fine, but I was not able to download anything. Not even to load a web page. I was pretty convinced Continue reading Mom’s PC→

Howard Stern

Posted on April 8, 2004 by Shadowtwin — No Comments ↓

Well it is Thursday so I am back to this after taking a day off. That is kind of a difficult thing to get used to. I have only been doing this for a couple of months but I have gotten so used to writing at least a little bit every single day, regardless of how tired I am, that it just seems odd to not do it on wednesday. In fact yesterday I really had the urge to write a bit after watching the latest episode of South Park but I just didn’t, no real reason why or why not. I will probably talk about the South Park thing a bit at the end, but for now I have to first give you the test that was promised Last Friday. Unfortunately I can’t ask how many gallons of water lake Mead holds because no one took the time to Continue reading Howard Stern→

Dogs; Terry Brooks

Posted on April 6, 2004 by Shadowtwin — No Comments ↓

Well the night happened, and the day came, so I guess I must type something here for your/my amusement. I spent a long time, after arriving home from work, typing an email that I may just quote on this page since it is about a subject that just really crushes me. That being said, I am going to discuss my dogs for a couple of minutes, then go off on whatever tangent I will invariably end up writing about. I have stated previously that my wife and I are the owners of two ‘Vicious Pit-Bulls’, I always say that in jest since the dogs never do anything to show the vicious nature of the Pit Bull. The stereotypical Pit-Bull is a Junk-Yard dog that is trained to attack and kill anything that it sees, our dogs are trained a bit differently. I really believe that if someone were to break Continue reading Dogs; Terry Brooks→

games

Posted on April 5, 2004 by Shadowtwin — No Comments ↓

Damn online video games have consumed too much of my time yet again. Not even particularly good ones, just the games that can be found on the free sites like Pogo.com. It doesnt take long before you find out that you have pissed the whole day away playing really lame little games. I guess it is better that way, since I didn’t have anything really worth talking about in the first place, and the only feedback that I get about this site is from my wife. So is it actually more productive to piss away my time on writing this than it would be to piss away my time playing a game? Someone suggested that if I want to generate traffic to my site I should go and post messages in popular disucssion forums with a link to it. That is kind of exactly the opposite of what I was Continue reading games→

PC’s; The MacGyver of True Value

Posted on April 4, 2004 by Shadowtwin — No Comments ↓

Well as my regular reader(s?) might have noticed there was no new blog thing on Saturday. If you are upset about this feel free to voice your displeasure in the Complaint Department. You see, what happened is that I had a hunch (go Velma!) that maybe the reason that the cd drive from my computer would not work in my mom’s computer was that it required me to install drivers prior to shutting down the pc and installing it. This led me back to believing that if I were to just get a cd drive I would be able to format her hard drive and reinstall the operating system. So when I got home from work last night, that is what I did. And a big thanks to Ron (a guy that I used to work with) who donated the cd drive, which through some miracle was exactly the same Continue reading PC’s; The MacGyver of True Value→

The weather

Posted on April 2, 2004 by Shadowtwin — No Comments ↓

Well I had quite an uneventful day today. So uneventful that I can’t think of a single thing to put here. I went and read a few blogs and some news looking for something that would force me to comment, again nothing. So it seems I am reduced to talking about the weather, and I am not sure just how much one can comment on that. Strange thing the weather, especially in the last few years. The first eight years that I lived in Arizona you could pretty much go without a calendar and just step outside to figure out what day of the year it was. The last few years, though, it has all started to get a bit screwy, I think that is a direct result of “Professor Chaos” and his aerosal can attacks on the planet, or not. The last two years or so, we have not Continue reading The weather→

TV & PC

Posted on April 1, 2004 by Shadowtwin — No Comments ↓

As previously stated, I did not update this page yesterday. That is a fact that roughly 99.99999999998% of the people in the world already know anyway. I kind of wanted to, just to put on a spoof type news item of the April fool’s sort, but I spent so much time farting around with my mom’s PC that I just never got to it. More on that pc issue below, for now, some discussion of shows on t.v. Survivor: All Stars was on again today, and it was satisfying if only for the fact that they actually voted someone off. There have been a few weeks where people leave of their own free will and that really makes it boring. In my mind the only time the show is worth watching is when you get down to ten players and they start all of the caniving, back-stabbing shit that they Continue reading TV & PC→

Metallica - One

Citing Metallica's song 'One' as 'music lost to history' probably doesn't make much sense to most. In this case, I don't think the song is lost to history, but the video is.

When this video dropped (I'd guess it was about 1989) I thought it was the most powerful video I had ever seen. Now, nearly thirty years later, I still believe it is the most powerful music video ever made.

The story may not be completely unique (the imagery is recycled -but from a film that was so old that my -then fifteen or sixteen year old- eyes had never seen. My now forty-five-ish year old eyes had never seen it either) but that video is shot and edited so well that you will be crying by the end. If, that is, you have a heart.

The video for Metallica's One surpassed all expectations for music videos, set the mark for what music videos would, could, and should be. It rocketed the group from garage band to the biggest group that ever lived. This single video defines not just that band, but the entire genre.

No other video has ever had such an impact on on the world of music. Not Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' video (which I believe to this day gets far too much credit) not The Beastie Boys song Sabotage which was a wonderful throwback to the seventies era cop show, but which I believe, also gets credit far beyond it's worth. Metallica's video for One, on the other hand, didn't try to look like anything more than it was. It was a hard-rocking song and Metallica used some masterful movie clips to add to the morose feel that the instruments generated. That video, for that song, was absolutely perfect.

It is without any form of doubt that I say the video for Metallica's song One was, and ever will be, the best video ever made. Don't take my word for it though, watch the video above (with low light and in a dark room) . If it doesn't move your heart, you're living this life all wrong.

July 2017

Cancer: 6/22-7/22
For 34 years you have been painstakingly removing a single hair from the head of each of woman you murder -with plans to weave them into a belt. A mishap involving a a candle-warmer, a vacuum cleaner, and the police breaking down the door to take you 'dead or alive' will bring your collecting days to an unfortunate end.

Leo: 7/23-8/22
Your plan to rook your boyfriend into marrying you by faking a pregnancy will fail this week. There are several reasons why this plan will fail: 1) you have denied him sex for your entire relationship, promising him that flower on the honeymoon. 2) You actually are pregnant. 3) You've been wearing a T-shirt that says 'Gold Digger' on it since the day you met him. 4) The single strand of hair that the Cancer (horoscope above) pulls from your head will be the one and only time he leaves his own DNA at the crime scene.

Virgo: 8/23-9/22
Okay, maybe the stars have been a bit harsh. They know you are a good guy, but you've made a lot of mistakes. The stars are willing to meet at Gina's Coffee Shop on July 12th at noon. If you aren't there, you may as well write off visitation of your kids.

Libra: 9/23-10/22
98% That is the specific number you will give your wife before you jump out of the plane. That optimistic chance of survival will slowly fade as you realize that gravity doesn't care a great deal if you have your arms out or not: Terminal velocity is terminal velocity. Your attempt to recreate the famous scene from the movie Point Break will end just as it should have in the movie: A horrible mass of flesh and bone several miles away from the guy who actually did have the parachute.

Scorpio: 10/23-11/21
The stars have a huge "to do" list. As such, your childhood wish to have sex with Anna Nichole Smith will finally come true this week. No, there's no way to stop it. The stars do apologize for the lateness of the fulfillment of this request, but they think your friends will count it anyway.

Sagitarius: 11/22-12/21
You've seen the movie The Number 23 exactly twenty-two times. You've built your life around avoiding that number. You''ll feel supremely confident when you leave your house on 07/12/2017. But, on 07/12/2017, you will step onto the sidewalk only to be struck and killed by a drunk driver. The time of impact? Exactly 11:01:00am on 07/12/2017. You will have exactly enough time to add up the digits of the date AND time: 1+1+0+1+0+0+0+7+1+2+2+0+1+7=23. Your realization that any date, time, or irrelevant number can be made to equal 23 will be moot.

Capricorn: 12/22-1/19
The stars have been watching you. And your daughter. Oh my, how we have been watching your daughter... Blah, blah, something about a star rising in Orion, blah, blah. The stars will definitely offer you better guidance once that daughter is of legal age.

Aquarius: 1/20-2/18
Every man wants to die a hero. That's human nature. But you have obsessed about it. When little Johnny accidentally starts a fire in his trash can this week, you should calmly walk out of the house with everyone else. If you happen to stand in Johnny's room screaming "take me, I'm the one you want!" That action may be ill-perceived by the police. The firefighters aren't even going to respond; the trash can fire burned itself out without even melting the plastic of the can.

Pisces: 2/19-3/20
Billy-Ray has been wearing that mullet for thirty damn years, so you figured yours would be fine, too. You'll soon realize that Billy-ray can rock that hairdo because he doesn't have to get it near the shake machine at Dairy Queen. You, on the other hand, have to get those lovely locks right up in there. Or, your now-naked scalp did.

Aries: 3/21-4/19
While the police report will read "failed attempt to jump the Grand Canyon", and the coroner's report will read "severe blunt-force trauma", everyone who knows you will know that they should have read "Eh, I think I can make it."

Taurus: 4/20-5/20
Rape. It's a big, scary word. It will also be the most appropriate word for what the biggest guy in jail is about to do to you. Please confer with a Cancer for advice on how to handle it.

Gemini: 5/21-6/21
Yeah, your Lyft driver is also carrying a knife. Unwanted advances will also result in removal of the penis. Keep it in your pants. Unless, of course, the Uber driver already handed it to you. In that case you can wave that thing around like a flag. You're probably not going to get a ride, but you are going to be one in a very exclusive group of men who can 'wave it around like a flag'.