Day: June 15, 2006

For Ed

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I am a sucker for those IQ tests that seem to be everywhere on the internet nowadays. I am pretty sure that they are in no way accurate, since if the results were to be believed, I have an IQ in the 160’s. While I like to think that I am smarter than the average bear, I am certainly no Marilyn vos Savant. Still, they are fun to take if for no other reason than to see how much you have forgotten since High School.

The last one I took, which was several months ago, had a question on it that was just so horrible I decided to copy it down for further examination. I don’t remember which particular test this question was on, but you find similar on almost every one of these tests, yet never one so horribly put together.

Here is the question in question, as it were:

Ed likes 729 but not 730. He likes 1728 but not 1725. He likes 3375 but not 3400. Which of the following does Ed like?
A) 4072
B) 4913
C) 4734
D) None of the above
E) All of the above

First things first, the question is bullshit based solely on the fact that “None of the above” is listed before “All of the above”. Since if A, B, and C are all correct, you can’t answer “All of the above” or you are including “None of the above” in your answer. But I am just going to assume that was an oversight, even though every question on the test had the final two answers arranged that way. Now, on to the real reasons why this is a bullshit question.

Answer A is the correct answer because: Given what we know about Ed, he will invariably like the first number given on any list. We know with certainty that he won’t like the second number given on the list, but the question doesn’t actually say how he feels about the third number on lists. So I am going to assume that he always likes the first number, never likes the second number, and is generally indifferent about the third number. At any rate, I think it is fair to say that Ed has an unhealthy fascination with numbers. Ed needs to get laid.

Answer B is the correct answer because: This is the answer that I actually selected when I took the test, and it is the one I think they were looking for. In the question, the numbers that Ed liked -729, 1728, & 3375 all have cube roots that are whole numbers (take that! Useless memorization in High School pays off!). Of the three available answers, only 4913 also has a whole number as a cube root. So again I say, I think that this was the answer they were looking for.

Answer C is the correct answer because: All of the numbers that Ed likes in the question have digits that add up to 18: 729 – 7+2+9=18; 1728 – 1+7+2+8=18; 3375 – 3+3+7+5=18. Of the available answers, only 4734 – 4+7+3+4=18. So clearly this is the correct answer.

So, since A,B, & C are all correct for one reason or another, the answer has to be “All of the above”. Of course the answer can’t be “All of the above”, since that would include “None of the above”. Stupid test.

Like I said, I answered B on this question, and I am pretty sure that was the one they were looking for. The argument for A being the right answer is really pretty baseless, but given the presentation of the question, the argument can’t be logically disproven. The real problem is in deciding whether B or C is the correct answer. The question is pretty vague. It doesn’t really tell you what answer they are looking for, nor does it give you any hint of a reason why Ed likes the numbers he likes. If answer C would have been 4731 instead of 4734, I think we could all agree that Ed is just a whole cube root freak. But the way the question is presented, we have to decide whether Ed is a whole cube root freak, or if he has a “digits add to 18” fetish. And really, I don’t want to know what sort of weird kinky shit Ed is into. Frankly, Ed frightens me a little bit (no offense, Ed).

So if you are ever putting together an IQ test of your very own, please take care to make sure only one of your answers could be right. Or, failing that, put the “all of the above” option above the “none of the above” option. ‘Cause did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, Ed likes to swing both ways. Maybe Ed doesn’t appreciate your Republican, Bible-Thumping, Better than Thou attitude. Maybe Ed is up in his room right now dreaming about a 3-way with 4913 & 4734, after which he plans to spend a little quality time with 4072. After that he might even take on 8817, and you know 8817 comes from the wrong side of the tracks. But Ed’s not doing it because he wants to. No no, Ed is doing it because he doesn’t want to conform to your one-number pigeon-holing tactics. When Ed tragically dies while trying to take on 691457, the blood will be on your hands Mr. IQ test writer! I hope you are happy, you heartless bastard!

….

In loving memory of Ed. -4072 4913 4734- Gone but never forgotten…

Random email

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I got a forwarded attachment today from someone I don’t know. Of course I opened it, how else do antivirus companies stay in business? Actually it was just an email, but it did have a cute little story in it, which I thought I would share:

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to plant a tomato garden, but it was difficult work, and his only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man described the predicament in a letter to his son.

Dear Vincent,
I’m feeling bad. It looks like I won’t be able to put in my tomatoes this year. I’m just too old to be digging up a garden. I wish you were here to dig it up for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Sorry I’m not there to help, but whatever you do, don’t dig up the garden. That’s where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Vincent

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie


Yes, cute in that Reader’s Digest reader submitted way. You know that someone took a long time coming up with the little story. Which is really too bad, since if it had been written a bit differently the ending might not have been so predictable. But it was worth a chuckle anyway.

(relative) Success

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I like to play small ball when it comes to poker, as detailed in damn near every post I have made regarding the subject. Well, I finally took down my first MTT. That is if you have a very loose definition for the “M” part of it, oh and the second “T” part of it. Okay, more technically accurate, I took down a two table SnG. Come on, people! Baby steps.

I was greatly aided in my effort when, three hands into it, I had a J-6 in the big blind, and four people were in the hand. The flop was a Q-J-6 with two clubs. I bet 120 at it (the pot at the time), figuring that someone probably had top pair, and I was sure someone was on a flush draw, but I didn’t think it was likely anyone had two pair; the other blind folded pre-flop, so these guys had to actually choose to be in the pot, of course if I wanted to think way too much about it, it was also possible that someone had pocket queens, jacks, or sixes -however unlikely it was. Anyway, the next guy in line called, the next guy raised 120, the guy after him called 240, and I pushed. Two out of three called. What were they holding? One had A-7 of clubs and the other had 9-2 of clubs. Both on a flush draw, and at this point we already know where 7 of the clubs are for sure, since I also have one and there are two on the board. The one guy paired his two on the river, but I made it out of it okay.

Now a question. I can understand the guy with the A-7 flush draw calling that one, but if you are the guy with the 9-2 flush draw, do you really call when two people are already all-in in front of you? I suppose that is a bit rhetorical.

So, just like that I was to over 5,000 in chips. Boy the game is a lot easier when you have such a (comparatively) big stack. But even with the big stack, I still didn’t raise pre-flop. Instead, I knocked out people one by one by calling their all-ins. I didn’t lose a showdown until we got to heads up some time later. I didn’t take any screenshots while I was playing, but I just looked at my stats for the tournament and they were as follows:

You finished in 1st place (eliminated at hand #5262853304).

84 hands played and saw flop:
– 11 times out of 22 while in small blind (50%)
– 11 times out of 23 while in big blind (47%)
– 6 times out of 39 in other positions (15%)
– a total of 28 times out of 84 (33%)

Pots won at showdown – 16 out of 19 (84%)
Pots won without showdown – 8


The stats are a bit unrealistic though, since there were 20 hands played during the heads up, and the only losses I had at the showdown were when we just checked it down. Similarly, the pots won without showdown were (I think) exclusively won when he folded from the small blind in the heads up.

In a comment to a previous post, I mentioned that I don’t want to control the game, I just want to win about ten hands, to get to the money. I also said that if I called from a position other than the blind, it was likely a hand that I was willing to go all in with. In this one, I called six times when I was not in the blind, and I in fact did go all in on every one of them (or called someone else’s all in, usually). I won every one of them. Only once was it really even a suckout, when I called the short stack who pushed with A-8 when I was holding K-9. He got an ace and I got a king on the flop, I got another king on the river to suck it out. I didn’t really want to call with the K-9 but I was the last one with a chance or the short stack gets the blinds uncontested. Come to think of, I was in the small blind on that one, so nevermind.

Anyway, I played exactly six hands when I wasn’t in the blind, and they were all huge wins. Each one either eliminated someone or absolutely crippled them. That’s the game that works for me.