Fun with numerology

As I was reading through my Bathroom Reader today, I happened across a little thing about numerology. I had never thought of the possibility that the number of the house you live in could have a great impact on your life because, well, they are really just assigned arbitrary numbers in an ascending or descending fashion and have nothing whatsoever to do with you. Then there is the fact that most people live with families, thus meaning that the number would be the same for every one of them.

At any rate, you are supposed to add up all the numbers in the address and continue doing so until you get a single digit. For example 11455 adds up to 16, which then adds up to seven. I started to think of the houses that I have lived in over the years, or at least the ones that I can remember the numbers of, and I noticed a trend.

The number of the house I live in now is 325. The number of the house I grew up in was 865. The number of the garage I lived in briefly was 955. Adding each of the numbers up on each of them resulted in a 1. Maybe there really is something to this superstition? Here is what it says about addresses that add up to 1:

Because it’s the first number, 1 is considered very powerful. It symbolizes independence, ambition, and new beginnings. A 1 address is said to be good for artists, the self-employed, and anyone else who has a home office and expects to do a lot of work there. It’s also good for people with strong egos.

Oh my God! It’s as if they know me! It is just vague enough to be applicable to anyone, yet uses such great words -independence, ambition- that, of course you are going to think apply to you.

Then I went to try to find a link to a page that had all of the numbers just in case you wanted to check out your own address. I google searched for “address numerology” and just hit the first one I found. But, here is what it says about addresses that add up to the number 1:

A “1” property reflects assertion, exploration, newness, impulse, trying things out, a new start. Males (or your masculine side) will often dominate in this place. Verve, swagger, vivacity, quick reactions, quick passions are the norm. Ambitious people, especially career singles, often choose a “1” address — and benefit from it, so long as they don’t want to build a married life. This house often ages rapidly, needs repairs. But if you lack vim and vigor in your life, it’s the place to be. Best to rent rather than buy, as 1’s tend to lag in market appreciation. If you want to develop or subdivide a property, 1 is a good number because it vibrates well to cutting, dividing, building, carving a place out of the wilderness. You get a new start here!

It says “new start”, but other than that it doesn’t seem to have much in common with the other one. Isn’t there some kind of standardized numerology code or something? It is as if they are just making shit up as they go. That seems so unprofessional.

This online version also says that you are supposed to count the name of the street as well as the direction associated with your street, which makes absolutely no sense. How in the fuck does “park” or “west” have anything to do with numbers? Well, it clearly does, using the following formula:

For letters, use this table:

A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4, E=5, F=6, G=7, H=8, I=9

J=1, K=2, L=3, M=4, N=5, O=6, P=7, Q=8, R=9

S=1, T=2, U=3, V=4, W=5, X=6, Y=7, Z=8

E.g., “Elm Street” = 5(e)+3(l)+4(m) = 12 = 1+2 = 3 (ignore “Street”).

Okay, I’ll try this again. Doing it this way ends in eight for all of the places I can remember. Let’s see what the chart says about 8 addresses:

8 is symbolic of power, it is the only number that connects beginning to end making it the strongest of the numbers. People who live in 8 houses tend to be extremely strong of mind and body. The strength and power come at a cost though: people who live in 8 houses tend to place entirely too much stock in random occurrences and chance, thus negating the mental strength and power of the address.

Okay, I made that one up. But, how long did it take you to figure that out? Anyway, here is what it really says about 8 houses:

If you live in an 8, your life is serious. The 8 address brews deep change, usually through the agencies of sex, finance or health. An 8 address brings the hidden forces of nature to the surface. You’ll delve into secrets here. Your interest will grow in investments and your net worth. You might become wealthy, or you could lose big-time, depending on your karma and astuteness. Pregnancy occurs. Extra-marital temptations arise. Young couples can build their empires here, but they should be deeply in love first, for this property indicates many long, slow, deep changes in how you relate to each other. Honesty is essential. Morals need careful cultivation in every area; you’ll be lured toward “power plays.” This property tends to appreciate well, even very well, but that’s not assured. This is a perfect “business premise” for a psychiatrist, editor, diagnostician, researcher, gynecologist, investor, or handler of other people’s money. (But they should live in a 4 or other place, to enjoy a rest from work.)

Wow, that is so me! Except for the pregnancy part, and the extra-marital temptations, and the “power plays”. Actually, I think that is the least like me out of all the possible options. Thankfully, I only have to go to the third search result (the second one was pretty lame) to find a numerology assessment that figures out the number for you (very scientific this numerology stuff). The beauty is that I can keep changing the way I enter the address until I find the entry that I like the most. I mean should it really be 325 East 8th Street, 325E. 8th St., 325 East 8th St., 325 E. 8th Street, I could probably sit here and come up with a couple dozen different ways to enter it, but I only need 9.

So that is where I concluded my scientifically calculated, really for real this time, house number assessment. Keep in mind that the fact that I entered my address several times until I found the one I liked best does not negate the infallibility of the scientific process. (if you don’t like the results you are getting just go ahead and enter the number 1, then 2, then 3, etc. Once you find the result you are looking for you can manipulate your address until it matches up.)

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