Another final table at the WWDN invitational

As the name would imply, I made the final table at the WWDN last night. It was an uphill battle for sure, since my starting table had Smokkee, Hoyazo, Iakaris, and a couple of other people (whose names I can’t look up because I just now realized that I was playing with the beta version of pokerstars and it is set by default to not log history. A value that I had neglected to change). At any rate, Smokkee is the one I was really scared of. For some reason Hoyazo doesn’t scare me as much as he should -it probably has something to do with that cute little smiling avatar, so harmless…

I almost went out of the tournament extremely early. If you read my site, you may remember that S.t.B. once said that they way I played a good hand almost got me in trouble. Such was the case last night, only I didn’t really have a good hand. I was in one of the blinds with a Q-6, and had to call some kind of a raise to see the flop. The flop was Q-6-4 (I think, might have been Q-6-7) Giving me two pair, which really should put me ahead at this point, barring someone else having a pair of Queens. I checked it, then called whatever the bet was to see the turn -what I should have done was pushed right there. I don’t remember exactly what the turn card was, I think it might have paired the low card, at any rate, I was still ahead and should have pushed, instead I called the bet to let everyone see the river relatively cheap. The river left two one-card straight possibilities on the board, which, of course, someone had. The someone who made the straight would have likely folded if I would have pushed earlier, and the other guy would probably have called with his pair of kings and I would have won with two pair. Ahh, hindsight. Instead, I was left with a pretty short stack.

I was able to keep from doing anything horribly stupid for a good while after that (at least I think it was, it is probably open to debate though). Sometime later in the tournament, as we were nearing the bubble, I was to the point where I was just hoping that if I was going to bust it was at least going to be on a good hand. I was tied with Kat for the short stack at the table when I found myself with A-J in early position. I raised it 5x the BB (thus proving that I am trying to teach myself to bet pre-flop so that I can try to limit my horrible beatdowns later in the hand), which was folded around to Shane in the Big Blind. He didn’t even seem to think about, just pushed. While I have played with most of the other people in the tournament before, I really haven’t ever played with Shane. I don’t think that he actually knows how tight I play, and as such I thought that he saw my huge raise as a steal attempt. I thought about this one for a long time before I eventually called it. A-J is really not an ideal hand to be putting your tournament life on the line with. This late in the game it is fair to assume that if the reraise was not just to stop me from stealing the pot, it must be either a pocket pair or two faces. In this case, it happened to be a pair of 8’s. The flop missed us both, but the turn paired my Jack. Then the river gave me a set. I will take luck any day.

I managed to bust out Smokkee when we were down to 6 players when my A-10 outran his K-J. (I bring that up only because I am sure it will never happen again). But either my luck, my logic, or more likely both failed me a short time later. With a suited A-3, I decided I wanted to see a flop bad enough to call a 2,500 bet (I had about 16,000 at that point). The flop was a rainbow, but I did hit bottom pair. My boy Mungo (I should say Guin, but Mungo makes me think of a St. Bernard for some reason, and so does his avatar, which is actually a penguin. Did I ever mention I smoked a lot of weed in the 80’s…and 90’s) Hoyed me. The board was showing 3-10-J at that point, and I really didn’t think any of those had hit him. His big bet pre-flop made me think he had A-K or A-Q, I don’t think he bets that much with anything lower than that, and I think he bets more if he has a pair. Since he is pushing now, I am putting him on K-Q, giving him the OESD. I tell myself that fifth place is still pretty good, and call, pretty sure that I was actually ahead at this point. When the turn brought up a Queen, I knew I was beat. Mungo told me I should fold, but it isn’t as if I am really going to be able to battle my way back from one chip, so I had to call. He did have the K-Q, so the only thing that can help me on the river is an Ace or 3, neither of which hits. See, in order for me to win, I have to get all of my chips in when I am behind. This time I was ahead when the chips went in, so really I never stood a chance.

So, IGH in 5th. Which was at least a $52 payday. And which brings my average finish in this tournament to the high teens. And heck, I was able to repay Mungo for doubling me up so many times the last time I was able to make it to the final table. Of course now I think I owe Shane and Smokkee some chips. Damn, I may never win this thing.

July 2017

Cancer: 6/22-7/22
For 34 years you have been painstakingly removing a single hair from the head of each of woman you murder -with plans to weave them into a belt. A mishap involving a a candle-warmer, a vacuum cleaner, and the police breaking down the door to take you 'dead or alive' will bring your collecting days to an unfortunate end.

Leo: 7/23-8/22
Your plan to rook your boyfriend into marrying you by faking a pregnancy will fail this week. There are several reasons why this plan will fail: 1) you have denied him sex for your entire relationship, promising him that flower on the honeymoon. 2) You actually are pregnant. 3) You've been wearing a T-shirt that says 'Gold Digger' on it since the day you met him. 4) The single strand of hair that the Cancer (horoscope above) pulls from your head will be the one and only time he leaves his own DNA at the crime scene.

Virgo: 8/23-9/22
Okay, maybe the stars have been a bit harsh. They know you are a good guy, but you've made a lot of mistakes. The stars are willing to meet at Gina's Coffee Shop on July 12th at noon. If you aren't there, you may as well write off visitation of your kids.

Libra: 9/23-10/22
98% That is the specific number you will give your wife before you jump out of the plane. That optimistic chance of survival will slowly fade as you realize that gravity doesn't care a great deal if you have your arms out or not: Terminal velocity is terminal velocity. Your attempt to recreate the famous scene from the movie Point Break will end just as it should have in the movie: A horrible mass of flesh and bone several miles away from the guy who actually did have the parachute.

Scorpio: 10/23-11/21
The stars have a huge "to do" list. As such, your childhood wish to have sex with Anna Nichole Smith will finally come true this week. No, there's no way to stop it. The stars do apologize for the lateness of the fulfillment of this request, but they think your friends will count it anyway.

Sagitarius: 11/22-12/21
You've seen the movie The Number 23 exactly twenty-two times. You've built your life around avoiding that number. You''ll feel supremely confident when you leave your house on 07/12/2017. But, on 07/12/2017, you will step onto the sidewalk only to be struck and killed by a drunk driver. The time of impact? Exactly 11:01:00am on 07/12/2017. You will have exactly enough time to add up the digits of the date AND time: 1+1+0+1+0+0+0+7+1+2+2+0+1+7=23. Your realization that any date, time, or irrelevant number can be made to equal 23 will be moot.

Capricorn: 12/22-1/19
The stars have been watching you. And your daughter. Oh my, how we have been watching your daughter... Blah, blah, something about a star rising in Orion, blah, blah. The stars will definitely offer you better guidance once that daughter is of legal age.

Aquarius: 1/20-2/18
Every man wants to die a hero. That's human nature. But you have obsessed about it. When little Johnny accidentally starts a fire in his trash can this week, you should calmly walk out of the house with everyone else. If you happen to stand in Johnny's room screaming "take me, I'm the one you want!" That action may be ill-perceived by the police. The firefighters aren't even going to respond; the trash can fire burned itself out without even melting the plastic of the can.

Pisces: 2/19-3/20
Billy-Ray has been wearing that mullet for thirty damn years, so you figured yours would be fine, too. You'll soon realize that Billy-ray can rock that hairdo because he doesn't have to get it near the shake machine at Dairy Queen. You, on the other hand, have to get those lovely locks right up in there. Or, your now-naked scalp did.

Aries: 3/21-4/19
While the police report will read "failed attempt to jump the Grand Canyon", and the coroner's report will read "severe blunt-force trauma", everyone who knows you will know that they should have read "Eh, I think I can make it."

Taurus: 4/20-5/20
Rape. It's a big, scary word. It will also be the most appropriate word for what the biggest guy in jail is about to do to you. Please confer with a Cancer for advice on how to handle it.

Gemini: 5/21-6/21
Yeah, your Lyft driver is also carrying a knife. Unwanted advances will also result in removal of the penis. Keep it in your pants. Unless, of course, the Uber driver already handed it to you. In that case you can wave that thing around like a flag. You're probably not going to get a ride, but you are going to be one in a very exclusive group of men who can 'wave it around like a flag'.

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