Job related stress

I had wondered how long the nirvana-like work environment would last after I returned from vacation. It started to fade away yesterday and then just completely disappeared today. Yes, I am back to being a useless piece of shit that they don’t even know why they keep around, or so it sounds from the screaming I endured today. What I wonder is, if that is the way my employers really think of me, why don’t they just can my ass and be done with it?

I suppose that I shouldn’t be so upset with the situation at work that I bring it home with me, yet I do and can not stop. This is the only place in the entire world, in my entire life, where my best was not only ‘not good enough’, but not even worth the time to try, apparently. I am constantly being bitched at about ‘Don’t start another job until you finish the job that you are working on’…then getting the same bitching about why I didn’t do ‘X task’ before I continued on with the job that I had already started. How can I ever be right in that situation? The simple answer is that I never can be. I just have to say that I am stupid for assuming that when they say to finish one thing before I start another that that means that they want me to finish one job before I start another. There are a lot of times when this particular statement not only doesn’t work, but is also impossible. Unfortunately I don’t know about the particular rules regarding it until long after I have been bitched at and demeaned for a good half hour.

There are many tasks that I need to do when I get to work, tasks that I was easily able to take care of within an hour or two when they used to have me come in at 9:00a.m. every day. Unfortunately, since I had the neck injury some time back, and asked them to please not make me be on my feet for more than four hours at a time, they have had me working straight shifts ever since. Previously, back in the days where I was able to do all the stuff I needed to do before I started being a little bitching bag, I could have all of my day to day stuff done within two hours and have the rest of the day to do whatever they wanted. Now, I try to start to do the day to day stuff that I usually had completed by 11:00a.m. and get stopped to go and do different things, yet still get the bitching of a lifetime about why I never finished with what they specifically told me to stop doing.

Bleh. I would probably find more sympathy if I shit in a soda can and sent it to the president.

Since I am on the subject, though, I am going to throw out one more thing. I have gained about ten pounds since they have had me working these shifts. I have gained ten pounds and not been able to do my job since they have put me on these shifts. The reason I have gained weight is pretty simple, too much food in the evenings. The way it is currently I don’t eat a scrap of food until shortly after 6p.m., that is when I enjoy a treat from the local circle k, my first meal of the day. Of course I am getting home at just about the same time as my wife is ready for dinner, so there is usually food awaiting me. Food which I don’t eat until a couple of hours later, but I do fill the time between the two meals with a healthy amount of hops and barley, which is fermented, and gets me by. When I used to take a lunch I used to take in about 400 calories with a can of chili each day around noon, this left me feeling a lot less hungry and meant that I would likely eat a bit less when I got around to re-heating the dinner that my wife had cooked for me. Now I just eat whatever is left, regardless of portion size, since I am so damn hungry after not eating anything but a circle k treat all day.

In a strange twist of events/ideas, I think that I might actually lose weight in my current situation if I were to switch back to sugared sodas. My body is currently waiting for me to eat way too much late in the evening, just about the time that my metabolism is about to call it a night. If I were to take in a bit of sugar over the course of the day it could possibly give me a bit of energy to burn while not actually adding to my waistline. Something to consider, but I have been repulsed by sugar ever since I found that I was not only borderline Diabetic in my teens, but my Father and his Mother both died due to complications or eventualities of that disease.

Long story short(er), if they really think that I am such a fuck-up that they can’t employ me, why don’t they just fire me? I think I might take the initiative and ask them about it tomorrow. If they truly believe that I am a liability to their business I do not want to be there to be their punching bag.

I am not entirely sure how I should phrase the question. Should I ask if they feel that I am a liability to the company, or should I ask if they feel that I am a liability to their profit margin, or should I ask if they feel that I am a liability to their ever making a profit again? Perhaps I will find out what I did so incorrectly that I have put the future of the store in jeopardy. All I know for sure is that I would take a job for half the pay if it were in an actual chain store where you are not able to verbally abuse the employees.

While still on the topic there is one more thing that is pretty bitch-worthy about this job. No time clock. They do round the numbers, of course, everything short of 30 minutes gets rounded to the previous whole hour. Everything from 31 to 59 minutes gets rounded down to the previous half hour. If you come in fifteen minutes early and work fifteen minutes late, you get paid for the particular hour you came in until the particular hour that you left. The 15 minutes on either side will just not count. Hell, I got shorted for an hour and a half of work in my last pay and just didn’t say a word. Why? You have to sit there for half a damn hour while she (the boss’ wife) figures out your pay. I am usually at least a week behind on pay so I will take whatever they give me, if I were to dispute it she would break out a piece of legal notepad where she wrote down what hours everyone worked. Unfortunately, she is prone to take several naps during the course of a day and has no idea when anyone actually comes in or leaves.

Of course I forgot to factor in the fact that I often have to go and do things to maintain the boss’ rental properties. You know, water the trees, clean the carpets, that kind of shit. Of course that never makes it onto a paycheck. He does say that if I write him a receipt for doing all of that stuff that he will pay me. My question is “why didn’t he write a work order for me to sign”? That document would protect us both, yet he doesn’t do it. One must certainly understand that I have done a lot of work on rental houses, on my own time, for the guy which I have never gotten paid for. I assume that the work that I did for him in the last year is going to go the same way. I really thought that spending my own time to repair shit for him would make him think that I was actually trying to be helpfull… I was dead wrong…

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