Richard Simmons arrested

Once again I let Diablo consume a lot of my time yesterday. At least I got the update done before that happened. Today will likely end just the same as yesterday did. I am not really sure why but it seems that when I play diablo I will do it constant for a couple of weeks and then just give up on it for a while. Perhaps it is just playing a level act 1 start to act 5 end that sates my desire, then I can wait for a while before I am in its clutches again. Who knows.

• I absolutely love this story from Reuters. It is short so I will quote the whole thing.

Assault Case Against Fitness Guru Simmons Dropped
PHOENIX (Reuters) – A judge dismissed an assault charge against flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons after he and the man he was accused of slapping in the face reached a private settlement, lawyers said on Wednesday.

Terms of the settlement, reached last week between the celebrity trainer and motorcycle sales rep Chris Farney, 23, were not disclosed.

Simmons, 55, famed for his frizzy hair, glittery tank tops and exuberant demeanor, was cited for misdemeanor assault in March at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport.

Police said the charge stemmed from an altercation that began when Farney, a fellow traveler at the airport, recognized Simmons as he was signing autographs and posing for pictures.

Farney, a burly Harley-Davidson motorcycle salesman who stands more than 6 feet tall and competes in the martial-arts sport of cage fighting, angered Simmons with a remark poking fun at Simmons’ exercise videos.

According to a police report on the incident, Simmons responded by telling Farney: “It’s not nice to make fun of people with issues,” then slapped him across the face.

A Phoenix municipal court judge dismissed the assault case during a pretrial conference last Friday between Simmons’ lawyer, prosecutors, Farney and his attorney, based on a signed statement from Farney that “full satisfaction has been received for the injury inflicted.” That document was filed on Wednesday.

Simmons’ lawyer, James Nesci, said Simmons was “certainly pleased with the outcome. All he really was looking for was a just conclusion. He believes he got it.”

AP Photo/Tina Fineberg

As you can see, this “burly Harley-Davidson motorcycle salesman who stands more than 6 feet tall and competes in the martial-arts sport of cage fighting,” bit off more than he could chew when he pissed off Richard Simmons. Just look at that photo, does that say ‘vicious killer’ or what? We all know that the only reason Simmons is still alive after slapping the guy is that the guy knew that if he didn’t hit back there would be a monetary resolution. That is a sad statement about humanity today but one that is undeniably true. We will do whatever it takes to piss off anyone who is in the public eye and in posession of a decent amount of cash, then cry like a baby when they react. In this case, I am not sure if they would have found Simmons guilty of an assault anyway. He slapped a man twice his size across the face for poking fun at him. That is not really an assault, it is a suicide. The only way a jury would have convicted him would be if the jury had consisted of a bunch of burly homophobes.

The sad truth is that so many of the cases involving celebrities are utter bull-shit that it is hard to pick through them and find the one in a hundred that is real. Take the trial of Kobe Bryant for instance. Did he have sex with that girl, yes. Was it consentual sex? There are only two people in the entire world that know the truth. I personally believe that it was consentual when it happened, then the girl realized that if it was not consentual she would be able to file a civil suit against him and get a boat- load of money. I feel a little bit more strongly about this case (though I am not actively following it) than I do about others because the woman in question turned in the panties that she had been wearing that night, and they had sperm from three separate persons in them. I am not sure if that was allowed to be entered into evidence in the case, also I guess it would be possible to rape a slut, but that really seems to take away from the credibility when she is screaming rape.

Totally on the other side of the spectrum, Mike Tyson was convicted of rape. I am pretty sure that he did it. Beyond that, I am pretty sure that he probably has done it a lot more than just once and has kept the other women quiet through intimidation.

There really has got to be some middle ground. The fact that I truly believe that one of these athletes did actually commit a rape while I believe that the other didn’t makes me believe that everyone else has already formed an opinion also. When the person is accused of the crime it is on the news 24/7 for days or even weeks before the person is actually indicted. By that point nearly everyone has decided whether they think he/she is guilty or innocent. The news usually also releases a bunch of information about both the accused and the victim that is often not admissable in court. With that kind of coverage in the news there is no way that anyone in the public eye could ever get a fair trial. Unless the trial were held in another country.

I suppose the easiest way for athletes/celebrities to avoid this type of situation would be to quit fucking strangers. Of course we all know that is something that will Never happen. So the next logical step would be to assure the silence of anyone you did have sex with; offer them some cash to keep quiet. Yet, that could result in a scandal like Michael Jordan faced, where the woman that he had been paying to silence suddenly upped the amount of money she wanted to maintain silence. Then Jordan had to sue her for extortion and had to drag his own image through the mud. Maybe, then, the answer would be to kill anyone that you have sex with, as a precaution. That seems to be a pretty brutal way to deal with it, but it would solve the problem.

Thank the random fluctuations of time and space that I am not in the public eye, and, therefore, not rich, which leads directly to my ability to keep it in my pants.

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