For Ed

I am a sucker for those IQ tests that seem to be everywhere on the internet nowadays. I am pretty sure that they are in no way accurate, since if the results were to be believed, I have an IQ in the 160’s. While I like to think that I am smarter than the average bear, I am certainly no Marilyn vos Savant. Still, they are fun to take if for no other reason than to see how much you have forgotten since High School.

The last one I took, which was several months ago, had a question on it that was just so horrible I decided to copy it down for further examination. I don’t remember which particular test this question was on, but you find similar on almost every one of these tests, yet never one so horribly put together.

Here is the question in question, as it were:

Ed likes 729 but not 730. He likes 1728 but not 1725. He likes 3375 but not 3400. Which of the following does Ed like?
A) 4072
B) 4913
C) 4734
D) None of the above
E) All of the above

First things first, the question is bullshit based solely on the fact that “None of the above” is listed before “All of the above”. Since if A, B, and C are all correct, you can’t answer “All of the above” or you are including “None of the above” in your answer. But I am just going to assume that was an oversight, even though every question on the test had the final two answers arranged that way. Now, on to the real reasons why this is a bullshit question.

Answer A is the correct answer because: Given what we know about Ed, he will invariably like the first number given on any list. We know with certainty that he won’t like the second number given on the list, but the question doesn’t actually say how he feels about the third number on lists. So I am going to assume that he always likes the first number, never likes the second number, and is generally indifferent about the third number. At any rate, I think it is fair to say that Ed has an unhealthy fascination with numbers. Ed needs to get laid.

Answer B is the correct answer because: This is the answer that I actually selected when I took the test, and it is the one I think they were looking for. In the question, the numbers that Ed liked -729, 1728, & 3375 all have cube roots that are whole numbers (take that! Useless memorization in High School pays off!). Of the three available answers, only 4913 also has a whole number as a cube root. So again I say, I think that this was the answer they were looking for.

Answer C is the correct answer because: All of the numbers that Ed likes in the question have digits that add up to 18: 729 – 7+2+9=18; 1728 – 1+7+2+8=18; 3375 – 3+3+7+5=18. Of the available answers, only 4734 – 4+7+3+4=18. So clearly this is the correct answer.

So, since A,B, & C are all correct for one reason or another, the answer has to be “All of the above”. Of course the answer can’t be “All of the above”, since that would include “None of the above”. Stupid test.

Like I said, I answered B on this question, and I am pretty sure that was the one they were looking for. The argument for A being the right answer is really pretty baseless, but given the presentation of the question, the argument can’t be logically disproven. The real problem is in deciding whether B or C is the correct answer. The question is pretty vague. It doesn’t really tell you what answer they are looking for, nor does it give you any hint of a reason why Ed likes the numbers he likes. If answer C would have been 4731 instead of 4734, I think we could all agree that Ed is just a whole cube root freak. But the way the question is presented, we have to decide whether Ed is a whole cube root freak, or if he has a “digits add to 18” fetish. And really, I don’t want to know what sort of weird kinky shit Ed is into. Frankly, Ed frightens me a little bit (no offense, Ed).

So if you are ever putting together an IQ test of your very own, please take care to make sure only one of your answers could be right. Or, failing that, put the “all of the above” option above the “none of the above” option. ‘Cause did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, Ed likes to swing both ways. Maybe Ed doesn’t appreciate your Republican, Bible-Thumping, Better than Thou attitude. Maybe Ed is up in his room right now dreaming about a 3-way with 4913 & 4734, after which he plans to spend a little quality time with 4072. After that he might even take on 8817, and you know 8817 comes from the wrong side of the tracks. But Ed’s not doing it because he wants to. No no, Ed is doing it because he doesn’t want to conform to your one-number pigeon-holing tactics. When Ed tragically dies while trying to take on 691457, the blood will be on your hands Mr. IQ test writer! I hope you are happy, you heartless bastard!

….

In loving memory of Ed. -4072 4913 4734- Gone but never forgotten…

Random email

I got a forwarded attachment today from someone I don’t know. Of course I opened it, how else do antivirus companies stay in business? Actually it was just an email, but it did have a cute little story in it, which I thought I would share:

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to plant a tomato garden, but it was difficult work, and his only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man described the predicament in a letter to his son.

Dear Vincent,
I’m feeling bad. It looks like I won’t be able to put in my tomatoes this year. I’m just too old to be digging up a garden. I wish you were here to dig it up for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Sorry I’m not there to help, but whatever you do, don’t dig up the garden. That’s where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Vincent

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie


Yes, cute in that Reader’s Digest reader submitted way. You know that someone took a long time coming up with the little story. Which is really too bad, since if it had been written a bit differently the ending might not have been so predictable. But it was worth a chuckle anyway.

Random randomness

Well, blogger has been pretty fucked up of late, and since it would be a real pain in the ass to update the front page manually, as I used to do, I have instead lost a couple of complete posts by being a complete idiot. You see, when I first started using the blogger script, I continued to write all of the posts in notepad (including all the html for links, etc). The thing is when I transferred them over to blogger, I would have to do it either a paragraph at a time, or else it would not put in breaks, or I would do it all at once and lose all of the actual html from the document -I would have to go back and reinsert italics, bold, any links, etc. I’m sure that there was a way to get around that, but I never bothered to look it up, I just started using the blogger text editor since it is basically the same as notepad anyway.

Unfortunately for me, I have a habit of not making copies of what I am writing into the text editor over here, so when blogger is continually going down, I don’t actually know that I am going to lose the post until after I have already lost it. That is to say, I didn’t paste the html back to notepad before I attempted to publish the last two posts, and since blogger was down I was not able to retrieve the contents. Stupid blogger and your stupid downtime. Fear not, I am sure the missing posts probably wouldn’t have been earth shaking, they rarely ever are.

Instead I will offer a couple of random things, and for the best reason: no damn reason at all!

The local jocks on the radio were being their normal obnoxious selves this morning. It is sometimes funny, sometimes thought provoking (hard to type that with a straight face finger), sometimes, well most times, just completely, unapologetically chauvinistic. So, kind of humorous in doses, as long as you try to tell yourself that it has to be satire (don’t even question whether or not it is meant to be satire, you will be disappointed with the results. Unless you have a very small mind, in which case you probably don’t think it is satire, but then you probably agree with all the “get your ass back in the kitchen, take off your shoes, and have my baby” type “humor” they throw around).

The show is at its best when it is unintentional though. Like this morning. There was something in the middle of one of the valley freeways, it may have been an animal, but no one was really sure. Anyway, the jocks instantly assumed that it was an animal, and were actively asking the person who had hit the animal to call the show. Of course there were a couple hundred people who called up claiming to be the person who hit the animal, ’cause hearing yourself on the radio is probably at the top of their “must do before I die” list. Some of the calls were funny, just for the outlandish stories the people were telling. For example, one person said that a UFO dropped a mutilated cow on the freeway in front of him and he didn’t have time to dodge. But the best part was that they started playing a stock “tire screech, car crash” audio bit before each new call they took. Until the last one, when someone hit the wrong key. So just as the jock says something like “There is a dead animal in the middle of the I-10”, Marvin Gaye’s song Let’s Get it on started playing in the background. Classic, in that “it’s funny because it’s necrophilia” way.

Next up is a horoscope in the latest issue of The Onion:

Taurus April 20 – May 20:
It seems like no matter how many times you pick up the Bible, you always discover something new within its pages for you to wildly misconstrue.

That applies to a lot more people than just Taurusus Tauruses Taurusis Taurus’ Tauri the ones born under the sign of the bull. The problem is if you own a bible, and you think that the statement doesn’t apply to you, you are exactly the person that it applies to, but you will never admit it.

Finally, Wil put up a link to the following video and it is the funniest thing since sliced bread:


What has become of me?

So I was lying around the house today watching some hardcore porn…Actually, that isn’t true, although admitting to that would be so much easier than admitting what I was actually watching. There is a new show on The Learning Channel called Honey, We’re Killing the Kids, which I thought was going to be an interesting docudrama that followed a couple around as they hunted down their own children and savagely beat them to death with rusty machetes. When it turned out to be something completely different, I was far too lazy to push the button on the remote that would end my misery, so I watched it anyway.

First off, shouldn’t Disney file a lawsuit against the creators for using their intellectual property? Isn’t it an obvious ripoff of the movie Honey, I Shrunk the Kids? Bleh. The series is probably owned by Disney, or the network is owned by Disney, at any rate I am not going to waste the time to look it up. Because when it comes down to lawsuits, I think Mattel is the company that really has a case. Look at the images and judge for yourself1:


At any rate, the show is all about exploiting fat children. The premise is that a nutritional expert will show the parents what the child will look like at age 40 if they don’t change their lifestyle, but the reality is that it is a show that will be watched by millions of people so that they can think that their children aren’t really all that fat by comparison. The particular show that I watched had a twelve year old kid on it that was only 10 pounds lighter than I am despite the fact that I am almost two feet taller than him. It truly boggles the mind.

I really can’t see why anyone would ever watch more than one episode of this show. I watched the very beginning of another episode and it is exactly the same thing only the people have been changed. I don’t think this is going to be a Jerry Springer type thing, where people like to watch it just to see what happens when the gene pool dries out. I can’t see how this show would be any different ever. Act 1: show the parents grossly exaggerated (or not when you look at the exploding waistline of the U.S. population) age renderings of what their children will look like in a couple of decades. Act 2: Insert change in the form of better food and a more healthy lifestyle, which the family at first rejects but slowly starts to accept. Act 3: show the parents grossly exaggerated (for sure this time) age renderings of what their children will look like in a couple of decades now that they have eaten a piece of fruit (imagine that, they could all be runway models). The End.

It would be nice if they were to go into the epilogue. You know, fast forward a couple of years to find out that the second the cameras were off everyone reverted to old habits and the kids are fatter than ever, but that would sort of make the entire premise of the show kind of pointless then, wouldn’t it?

Normally I am not the type to make vast and sweeping generalizations without factual basis2, but I am going to go with my gut on this one (pun intended). The only people likely to watch this show are going to be the parents of children who are borderline morbidly obese. If they can find just one child on the planet that weighs more than little Timmy, you see, then that means that little Timmy isn’t really that fat. Who else would watch the show? Parents of normal3, healthy, active children wouldn’t want to watch it, and certainly wouldn’t want their children to watch it. So I guess that means that they will always have an audience, at least until every family except for the fattest family in the U.S. has seen it.


1) I think I probably lose a lot of cool points for knowing the Mattel logo well enough to immediately recognize this blatant ripoff. Even more for actually admitting that I recognized it. Thankfully it wasn’t the Kenner logo or I would gain like 2d20 geek points on top of the cool points that I lost. In fact I might get those geek points anyway since Kenner was absorbed by Hasbro a long time ago and only the real Star Wars GeeksTM remember Kenner, and then only because it is printed on the front of their complete set of action figures from the first film.

2) I leave that to the Republicans. *rimshot* Thank you. I will be here all week.

3) That makes it sound like I am implying that the extremely overweight children are not “normal”, I would like to clarify that. I am not implying that they aren’t normal, I am saying it flat out.

The things aging rockers say

I was taking in reruns of the vh1 special the history of hard rock, not to be confused with the history of heavy metal(which I also watched), or the history of rock & roll(which wasn’t on this weekend), if you asked me why I was watching at it, I would stare at you blankly for a few minutes before finally admitting that I didn’t know. Stupid shows and their stupid luring you in by counting backwards!

So as the countdown got down to the top five I was pretty sure who was going to be in it, just not sure how they were going to be ordered. It is vh1 after all, it was entirely possible that Led Zepplin could lose to the Backstreet Boys, thankfully that didn’t happen.

When they started doing celebrity clips about Nirvana, I laughed really hard when they got to the clip from C. C. Deville (who has probably the worst conceived name in the history of really shitty hair bands). He said, “Nirvana was like a musical enema. For me anyway. I loved it.”

Isn’t that an odd fetish?

Fun with numerology

As I was reading through my Bathroom Reader today, I happened across a little thing about numerology. I had never thought of the possibility that the number of the house you live in could have a great impact on your life because, well, they are really just assigned arbitrary numbers in an ascending or descending fashion and have nothing whatsoever to do with you. Then there is the fact that most people live with families, thus meaning that the number would be the same for every one of them.

At any rate, you are supposed to add up all the numbers in the address and continue doing so until you get a single digit. For example 11455 adds up to 16, which then adds up to seven. I started to think of the houses that I have lived in over the years, or at least the ones that I can remember the numbers of, and I noticed a trend.

The number of the house I live in now is 325. The number of the house I grew up in was 865. The number of the garage I lived in briefly was 955. Adding each of the numbers up on each of them resulted in a 1. Maybe there really is something to this superstition? Here is what it says about addresses that add up to 1:


Because it’s the first number, 1 is considered very powerful. It symbolizes independence, ambition, and new beginnings. A 1 address is said to be good for artists, the self-employed, and anyone else who has a home office and expects to do a lot of work there. It’s also good for people with strong egos.

Oh my God! It’s as if they know me! It is just vague enough to be applicable to anyone, yet uses such great words -independence, ambition- that, of course you are going to think apply to you.

Then I went to try to find a link to a page that had all of the numbers just in case you wanted to check out your own address. I google searched for “address numerology” and just hit the first one I found. But, here is what it says about addresses that add up to the number 1:


A “1” property reflects assertion, exploration, newness, impulse, trying things out, a new start. Males (or your masculine side) will often dominate in this place. Verve, swagger, vivacity, quick reactions, quick passions are the norm. Ambitious people, especially career singles, often choose a “1” address — and benefit from it, so long as they don’t want to build a married life. This house often ages rapidly, needs repairs. But if you lack vim and vigor in your life, it’s the place to be. Best to rent rather than buy, as 1’s tend to lag in market appreciation. If you want to develop or subdivide a property, 1 is a good number because it vibrates well to cutting, dividing, building, carving a place out of the wilderness. You get a new start here!

It says “new start”, but other than that it doesn’t seem to have much in common with the other one. Isn’t there some kind of standardized numerology code or something? It is as if they are just making shit up as they go. That seems so unprofessional.

This online version also says that you are supposed to count the name of the street as well as the direction associated with your street, which makes absolutely no sense. How in the fuck does “park” or “west” have anything to do with numbers? Well, it clearly does, using the following formula:


For letters, use this table:

A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4, E=5, F=6, G=7, H=8, I=9

J=1, K=2, L=3, M=4, N=5, O=6, P=7, Q=8, R=9

S=1, T=2, U=3, V=4, W=5, X=6, Y=7, Z=8

E.g., “Elm Street” = 5(e)+3(l)+4(m) = 12 = 1+2 = 3 (ignore “Street”).

Okay, I’ll try this again. Doing it this way ends in eight for all of the places I can remember. Let’s see what the chart says about 8 addresses:


8 is symbolic of power, it is the only number that connects beginning to end making it the strongest of the numbers. People who live in 8 houses tend to be extremely strong of mind and body. The strength and power come at a cost though: people who live in 8 houses tend to place entirely too much stock in random occurrences and chance, thus negating the mental strength and power of the address.

Okay, I made that one up. But, how long did it take you to figure that out? Anyway, here is what it really says about 8 houses:


If you live in an 8, your life is serious. The 8 address brews deep change, usually through the agencies of sex, finance or health. An 8 address brings the hidden forces of nature to the surface. You’ll delve into secrets here. Your interest will grow in investments and your net worth. You might become wealthy, or you could lose big-time, depending on your karma and astuteness. Pregnancy occurs. Extra-marital temptations arise. Young couples can build their empires here, but they should be deeply in love first, for this property indicates many long, slow, deep changes in how you relate to each other. Honesty is essential. Morals need careful cultivation in every area; you’ll be lured toward “power plays.” This property tends to appreciate well, even very well, but that’s not assured. This is a perfect “business premise” for a psychiatrist, editor, diagnostician, researcher, gynecologist, investor, or handler of other people’s money. (But they should live in a 4 or other place, to enjoy a rest from work.)

Wow, that is so me! Except for the pregnancy part, and the extra-marital temptations, and the “power plays”. Actually, I think that is the least like me out of all the possible options. Thankfully, I only have to go to the third search result (the second one was pretty lame) to find a numerology assessment that figures out the number for you (very scientific this numerology stuff). The beauty is that I can keep changing the way I enter the address until I find the entry that I like the most. I mean should it really be 325 East 8th Street, 325E. 8th St., 325 East 8th St., 325 E. 8th Street, I could probably sit here and come up with a couple dozen different ways to enter it, but I only need 9.

So that is where I concluded my scientifically calculated, really for real this time, house number assessment. Keep in mind that the fact that I entered my address several times until I found the one I liked best does not negate the infallibility of the scientific process. (if you don’t like the results you are getting just go ahead and enter the number 1, then 2, then 3, etc. Once you find the result you are looking for you can manipulate your address until it matches up.)

Witles

I have been working on a new Arthur Witles story. In this one I have decided that it is time for Witles and Ampere to tackle a tough issue: God. Not God in the sense that you or I would think of it, but God in the sense that a written character would think of it. After all, the characters would not exist were it not for me writing about them. I am having a lot of fun writing this one.

The story was going to be about how Ampere met his wife, but as I began to write the story I went back and read over the dialogue that was supposedly spoken while our heroes were in peril and realized that I had them speaking as though they were at a cocktail party. I found that pretty humorous. Here is an excerpt:

It was a lazy afternoon. Well, not really a lazy afternoon per se, but
the type of afternoon that has the affect of making one feel lazy; warm, balmy
with only the slightest hint of the horrible gases that are slowly choking you to
death. At least that was the case for Arthur Witles, who, through no fault of his
own (to hear him tell the story) found himself locked in an airtight chamber
somewhere near the docks. While it is difficult to be sure exactly what the gas
that was slowly killing him was, it can be assumed that it wasn’t the emission
from automobiles over the last several decades, unless someone had the foresight
to concentrate all of those emissions and put them in a huge metal canister, affix
it to the wall in the airtight chamber near the docks and open up the valve (and
what an ingenious crime that would be, killing someone with nothing more than the
chemicals that are already in your body).

Currently, Arthur Witles was assessing the predicament.

“Quite ingenious! I am astounded at the level of detail they have
achieved! Not only have they managed to trap us in this chamber, but they have
done it in such a way as to make it nearly impossible to escape!”

“So they have,” I replied, gasping for another breath of the putrid air,
“I can’t help but notice that you said escape was only NEARLY impossible. Does
that mean that you have a plan?”

“Of course I have a plan. It may seem the perfect imprisonment/execution
chamber, but in reality it has one fatal flaw…”

Knowing Witles as long as I have, I have become accustomed to him pausing
between telling you that he knows the answer and the actual conveying of said
answer. What I find truly remarkable though is that Witles actually manages to
audibly communicate the dots of ellipses. Most would just stop talking and then
start again, or possibly trail off; Witles actually says “period, period, period”.

“Witless…”

“Wit ‘Uls!”

“Indeed.

I know that you like to build the anticipation as much as
possible before you tell me the great secrets that you discover, but in this case
I must insist that you just get to it already! I am barely clinging to
consciousness and I fear that you are doing no better.”

“Yet, you managed to speak such an intelligible sentence.”

“I didn’t say that right now, I went back and wrote it in later.”

“Then how did I hear it?”

“I don’t know. I guess that is one of the great mysteries of the
universe.”

“It seems pretty fishy to me.”

“Can we discuss this later, please!”

“Oh, very well then.” Witles took on his most dignified posture, at least
as dignified as one can be while hog tied and chained to large metal pipe. “Our
captors have failed to note that the location of our prison is below tide level.”

“What, exactly, does that have to do with anything?”

“Well. It certainly must have been their intention to poison us with the
gas that they are releasing into the room. There is absolutely no way that the
gas is going to kill us, this room will be completely underwater in less than an
hour! The idiots.”

“Perhaps they intended for the gas to render us unconscious, but their
ultimate goal was for us to drown.”

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. Remarkable! They have this planned even
better than I previously thought.”

“Yes, it truly is remarkable. Now can you tell me exactly what your plan
is? What are you going to do?”

“I am going to sit right here and wait.”

“Wait for what?”

“Wait to see what happens.”

“We are going to die, Witles, that is what is going to happen!”
“No, I don’t think so.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because you wrote about it.”

“I haven’t written about it yet!”

“Yes you have. You told me that you added in that line later. That says
to me that we have survived the situation and you have already written about it.”

I wanted to argue with him, but he made a good point. Besides, I was
already passed out on the floor.

Had I been conscious, I would have seen Witles expertly slip out of the
the ropes that were entangling him, discard the chains with minimal effort, and
make his way over to me. Had I been conscious, I would have felt as Witles
reached inside my jacket and started feeling around. Had I been conscious, Witles
wouldn’t have been.

Now Witles was reading through my notebook. Had I been conscious I would
have heard him mumbling as he read through various lines I had penned over the
last few days, until at last he shouted, “What good does this do me? These notes
stop just before you went unconscious!”

But I was unconscious, so I didn’t hear or see any of that. I just
remember waking up on his couch some hours later.

Like all of the Arthur Witles stories, it is meant to be about as subtle as a nuclear (nukular?) warhead, and I think I have managed to pull that off.

I will post the story after I finish it. Finally the world will have definitive answers to questions about God.

Rejoice now! Bask in the warm glow that is megalomania! Next I will start a band and finally release Chinese Democracy, thus doing what neither God or Axl Rose was capable of. Then I will build a brand new skyscraper for my head to live in…

Well, I thought it was funny anyway

I go to the site Boners.com a couple of times to look at their recent photos. A lot of them are really funny, but not funny in a way that I could post here (since when do I have standards?). I found this one to be particularly amusing, cause it just has to be true or the guy who had it done would never have thought it up:

The only problem with the boners website is that it can go from a cute little picture like that to something that is SO not safe for work with just a little click of the ‘next’ button. Keep that in mind if you ever check out the site.

I need a six pack of Glad bags and an alibi!

Because I can never seem to answer a question without making some smart-ass remark, that’s why!

Working where I do for as long as I have, I have seen hundreds (possibly thousands) of people come and go (I’m talking employees). As a result of this I try not to get too personal with them. Of course I am courteous and friendly with them; I just don’t talk a lot about myself, and hope they keep to themselves as well. I have become pretty good friends with a couple of them over the years, but that is the exception, certainly not the rule. So many people come and go from this place that I honestly don’t even bother to learn their names until they have worked there for at least a month -that is not a joke.

A woman started working there about two months ago and she is the one that I now work with on Saturday nights. Last Saturday she asked me flat-out if I didn’t like her. I looked at her for a second kind of confused before I asked her why. It turns out that she thought I didn’t like her because I don’t talk to her a lot. That is certainly not the case, as I explained to her, the less I talk to her the better: If I have to talk to the other employees a lot it usually means they are doing a lot of things wrong. I like working with her better than the other employees because she is able to do what needs to be done without me having to point it out to her, that is a very good trait.

Once this woman realized that I didn’t hate her, she began to talk to me a lot more. I have no problem with that, but I don’t really like to discuss my life with people that I know will be nothing but a memory in less than a year. So it was that when she asked me what I like to do when I wasn’t at work I told her that I was a serial killer. We then had a lengthy conversation about serial killers, mostly about Ed Gein (my all time favorite, since he was just batshit-insane), but also covering the more familiar ones such as BTK, Ted Bundy and Richard Ramirez(sp?). It was a good conversation, it is not often that I am engaged in a conversation about something that fascinates me such as serial killers do. And that was that.

A man I knew came into the store today to rent a rug doctor (carpet steam cleaner thingy). I asked him if he needed garbage bags to put on the floor while he dismembered the body (note that it is necessary to gauge who the person is before asking such a question: It would suck to ask that of a real serial killer). The woman laughed when she heard me asking the question, which was the intent of course.

Later, another man came in to rent a rug doctor. Two rentals in one day is something I have never seen in all my years working there. As I was filling out the paperwork, I said there sure must have been a lot of murders on St. Patrick’s Day. The guy renting the machine asked why I said that, and I told him it was our second machine that day. He just said, “oh”. As he was signing the paperwork, I told him to make sure to also replace the padding beneath the blood stains, and most importantly to remove the baseboards before scrubbing the walls (a lot of killers get caught because of that oversight). The man was just staring at me, he just said, “Uh. Okay. Thanks.” Then he walked out the door.

This woman looked at me now, she was laughing pretty hard. “Not everyone is a serial killer, Donnie, Just you.”

I had completely forgotten that I had told her that last Saturday. But that made it seem pretty funny to me as well. Except that I had obviously gauged the guy who just walked out the door wrong. The whole point of the serial killer jokes is to make people laugh, if they don’t laugh it may lead directly to either your own death, or a random swat team showing up at your house as the detectives are digging up your back yard. But it’s so funny when they do laugh.