I did upload some of the things that I was typing about yesterday. I found that, like everything else I ever attempt in life, I remember them far more fondly than they deserve. Perhaps it is just part of human nature to think that everything that you have ever created with only the power of your mind and your own two hands is the end all of human existance, but, man to find that it could be for all the wrong reasons is kind of a stab in the heart. I managed only to upload a short mp3 that I created along with one java game. The rest of what I was going through was so bad that I didn’t want to have my name on it -not that these two are particularly better, just that since I said I would add some I wanted to have an example of each-. For the daring, just click on the ‘Stuff I Made’ link on the sidebar.
Now on to site related stuff.
I really did not intend to do a daily update on this site, but I feel compelled to. The problem with that is that I really suck at it. I said yesterday that I have become a better writer without actually having written anything in a while, and that statement is true, but also that statement is in direct reference to fiction. I have never written any non-fiction in my entire life (possible exception being reports turned in at school), and I find this type of writing to be a lot more difficult to get the hang of. When writing the fiction I always have a story line and characters to work with, though they only exist in my mind, and after I type a paragraph or two I will go back and look at the actual delivery of the prose to try to keep it really fluid and get rid of excess crap that really doesn’t need to be there.
Non-Fiction (i.e. these updates) is a completely different monster. I will sit down with a pretty good idea of what I want to say, what spin I would like to put on my opinions, and a few remarks that I want to add for a bit of comic relief. What then happens is that my brain starts working way faster than my fingers can possibly type and I end up with unrelated comments thrown in all through the entire thing. I read back over them only AFTER I have posted them and find that, for the most part, I have totally underestimated the dificulty of doing this sort of thing.
I really wish that I had taken some sort of a course in journalism, I am sure that they probably teach you techniques to block out your impulses to add all of the random crap to what you are trying to make a point about. The sad truth is that I spent all of my time in creative writing classes which taught me how to deal with character development, plot lines, and the fluidity of a story. None of those traits really lends itself to trying to be coherent while rambling on about Levitra, or whatever you are bitching about that day.
I certainly hope that, if I continue to do these updates, I will get better over time. As it is I find myself not wanting to read the babbling and incoherent crap that I am posting here. If I don’t want to read it, how the hell can I possibly expect anyone else to? I think that question may have been rhetorical. I suppose that if the substance of the writing was earth-shaking then some people may look past the shoddy writing, but as I have not shooken the earth yet, with all of this garbage, I doubt that will be my saving grace.
I do believe that, like anything else, a bit more practice will result in me becoming better at this sort of thing. My fear is that I will continue to read my updates and find them utterly disappointing. If that should happen I would certainly be quite discouraged, and I might just give up the whole idea of a daily update. That is why I am hoping that this site gets found by the search engines sometime pretty soon. I know that my writing is crap, but I am very critical of my own work and I would like to see some feedback from someone who is, say, Not Me. But, that is another issue all in itself.